Guest Star: Claude Monet

*It would be awesome if I could have the actual Claude Monet as a guest star, but the whole 'death' thing makes it tough. I am instead referring to Claude Monet my pig on my lanyard. He is blue. And says 'Chase' from Chase Bank. Which one would think would give him the name Chase. But no. He is Claude Monet.*

Keys

• To the house


• To the car


• To a lock


• To a cabinet of some sort


• To a heart (occasionally through a stomach)


• To the Priesthood/Gospel/Eternal Salvation


• -stones


• Concepts


• Words

Pigs

• Banks


• Pens (not the writing kind)


• Into pork


• Potbelly


• Pets


• Stinky?


• Slop the ...


• Refers to a messy person


• Wild (Boars)


• KPGR *88.1 FM* (Shout out to George Clooney the boar's head)


• University of Arkansas (mascot)

Top Ten Apologies of 2011

• Anthony Weiner


• Rupert Murdoch


• Reed Hastings


• Yoshio Hachiro and Yoshihiko Noda


• Tracy Morgan


• Rob Maruster


• Kenneth Cole


• David Cameron


• LeBron James


• Pope Benedict

Guest Star: Late Nights

*Side note: there is no actual reason as to why all the titles contain guest stars. They could in fact be given real names like 'Thomas' or 'Day _' or 'Forgiveness'. That would obviously be too straightforward for these two girls.*

Top Ten Procrastination Devices

• Facebook
• Netflix
• TV in general
• iPods
• a bubble bath
• anything to do with clothes
• any sporting event
• friends
• blogs
• food

Number of outfits in one day (from most girly to least girly)

• 6 (keeps changing their mind)
• 1 (put so much thought into it that they got it right the first time)
• 4 (got it right, but needed to test slightly different pant colors)
• 2 (got it right, but needed one adjustment)
• 3 (got it right with a couple adjustments, or spilled on an article of clothing and had to change)
• 1 (put something on and stopped caring, so they stuck with it for the rest of the day)

Lymric topics

• lists
• current top news stories
• school
• whatever you were actually trying to write a rap for
• flowers
• love (think a Shakespeare sonnet or the likes)
• something funny
• boys (could probably make its way into any and every category)

Lymric

• 11:11; it's wish making time
  11:12; just trying to rhyme
  time to finish the post
  and try not to boast
  but these lymric-ing skills? they are prime
  

Guest Star: Lucy from College

Number of sick friends to have at any given time

• 3 (plus you of course)
• 0
• those are the only options

Shows watched this week (Only these shows)

• The Golden Globes
• The Office
• 30 Rock
• America's Next Top Model
• Toddlers and Tiaras
• Glee

Top Ten Mascots

• Vikings
• Cougars (This is for you Salisbury family)
• Blue Hens
• Geoducks
• Phanatic
• The Racing Sausages
• Sourdough Bread
  
• Purple Aces
• John Poet
• Gamecock
  

Guest Star: Juice Fast

*It's not me on the fast. It's the guy on the documentary.*

Uses of Netflix (from best to worst)

• documentaries. Lots and lots of documentaries (topics can vary from juice fasts to computer fonts to paperclips to your eyes during REM sleep)
• comedies
• dramas
• british shows
• british cartoons
• a movie
  

*I am giving in to the Facebook fad of "that awkward moment when". Just it's cooler because it's not on Facebook*

That awkward moment...

• when you realize that you slept for pretty much half of the day
• when you and the overly exaggerated indy girl in the Youtube video have the same views on computer fonts (ie: the font in the documentary that I Netflixed) *you know your product is popular when it becomes a verb ie: Googled, Netflixed*
• that is high school
• when you put an "awkward moment" on Facebook
• when you are alone in your basement on Saturday night
• when you barely make it to midnight on a Friday
• when you can barely think of the third list category to put on your blog
  

Top Ten Clumsy Dogs

• Chocolate Labrador
• Stafford Bull Terrier
• Rottweiler
• Springer Spaniel
• German Shepherd Dog Crossbreed
• Cocker Spaniel
• German Shepherd
• Golden Retriever
• Border Collie
• Yorkshire Terrier
• *The close 11th?* Brutus
  

Guest Star: The end of the semester

Things associated with the end of the semester

• late nights
• early mornings
• no sleep
• sleeping in class
• caffeine
• procrastination
• stress
• perhaps some blood and tears
• the thought that once you make it through the week you have a 3 day weekend (I love Martin Luther King Jr. both for his numerous important contributions to civil rights and equality for all and for the Monday we get off to celebrate him)
• attendance school
• pleading with teachers to give you last last 0.2% needed to give you that letter grade one above your current grade

Atypical things

• 40-50 degree weather and no snow in Utah in January
• another blog that I just barely discovered upon a Google search (http://atypicalthings.tumblr.com/)
• sleeping during the day and staying up all night
• eating a dinner that consists of pickles, string cheese, grapes, and milk
• when you sleep more deeply on the floor than in your bed
• breakfast for dinner
• the general idea of brunch
• Diet Coke and Coke Zero (I feel like these are pretty much the same product, just one is marketed differently)

Friday Night

• sometimes a basketball game which may or may not be giving out free shirts to the first 150 fans and/or free sandwiches from Gandolfo's
  
• perhaps a riveting game of Monopoly
• bloody knuckles
• watching toddlers and tiaras until all hours of the night, and then driving home (shout out to the family of approximately 13 deer that were hosting the next stage of the Occupy Movement; Occupy Dalton Ave.)
• maybe a wedding reception or two
• crashing dances in aforementioned wedding reception attire
• relaxation
• a song
• some Netflix
• popcorn
• if that Friday night is tomorrow then it will be the night of Friday the 13th (maybe a horror movie)
  

Guest Star: Creepy Mask

Things to do with a Monday

• watch approximately 9 episdoes of GLEE on Netflix


• leave school an hour earlier than usual


• take a 38.952732 minute nap


• take practice tests


• blog


• wear the creepy mask while cleaning the kitchen


• study for health and/or financial literature tests


• eat only Mexican food, pace bars, and Diet Coke

Haikus (from best to worst)

• Coordination/necessary for dancing/not my best subject


• 2 Cheetahs for Rach/40 dogs in addition/living in one house


• pickle, bird, Fiat/all random things in my head/Netflix GLEE daily


• nose job when it breaks/a deviated septum/bad idea sometimes

Sneezes

• loud and scary


• dainty


• Pika-choo


• gross


• travel for long distances


• tiny


• large build-up and tiny deed

Guest Star: math homework, Glee, and a lot of rice-based foods

The best thing to do while doing math:

• Anything but math
• Eat really nasty cocoa chocolate
• Watch Glee
• Eat Indian food
• Eat rice, milk, and sugar
• Sleep
• Watch stupendously as the other girls on the table do problems with numbers you didn't know existed
• Pretend to do math homework but write lists
• Graph it like its hot

*Tag Team Time. Typist switch*

Emotions (from best to worst):

• peace
• love
• happy
• loopy
• calm
• excited
• confused
• flustered
• upset
• sad
• mad
• stressed

Guest Star: 2012

Top Ten 2011

• Free drinks at Harts
• 11/11/11
• Deaths of Bin Laden and Gaddafi
• Eurozone
• First artificial organ transplant (windpipe)
• Space Shuttle program ends
• High School (Maggie)
• The creation of the list as we know it
• NBA Lockout
• End to the Iraq War

As Seen on TV (from best to worst)

• Forever Lazy
• Cami Secret
• Pajama Jeans
• Slumber Mitt
• Slanket and/or Snuggie Pillow
• Shake Weight
• Foamfetti
• Fushigi
• Mold 'N Play Soap
• My Day with Spiderman personalized & interactive CD
• PixOs
• Time Life Richard Simmons Boogie Down the Pounds
• Sunny Talking Pillow
  

Guest Star: Rain in December

Things not understood

• this FaceBook timeline stuff
• when a song has 10 seconds of silence at the end
• Utah's weather
• Utah's road construction
• The butterfly effect and the UK transport sector

Places to be during a blizzard (best to worst)

• in Jamaica
• across the county
• in a cabin, under a blanket, snuggled with a loved one, next to a blazing fire, sipping hot cider
• in a regular cabin, alone
• in a snow cave
• in the blizzard
• in a river

Contains 'up'

• hiccup
• upward
• upset
• regular cup (any adjective can take 'regular's place)
  
• bankrupt
• abruptly
• a proper movie collection
• rupture
• puppy
• ketchup
• corrupt
• ibuprofen
• Professor Lupin
• Occupy Wall Street
• what's up, whaddup, what. up., 'sup
• uptown
  

Guest Star: Boxing Day (Dec. 26)

TV Show premises (best to worst)

• One where you take 10 girls and make them model, then pick the best one
• Any show including dance crews
• One where you take an office building and document the lives of the employees
• One about local governments and/or recreational activities
  
• One searching for either an Algebraic variable or just a figure of speech
• Cooking shows
  
• One about how different products are created. Step by step.

England

• The home of British Girl until she joined us in AP Gov.
  
• Has some pretty good candy
• Accents
• Notoriously bad teeth
• Big Ben
• Boxing Day as a holiday
• Queen
• Double Decker Bus
• Left side of the road
• No drinking fountains (faaaaaact)

Top Ten Boxes

• Cardboard (most universal box)
• Jewelry (this one's for the ladies)
• Shoe
• Wooden
• Check
• Furniture (superior to just a plain cardboard box because they are easier to play in)
• Priority Mail Flat Rate
• Cigar?
• Music
• Hat
  

Guest Star: The movie "Inception"

*A small note. Its Christmas break. Alle-freaking-lujia. I hope everyone is enjoying your break, and Merry Christmas.*
*Another small note. This is Rachel and Maggie, tag team blogging. Rachel is writing. I'm a better writer and so much cooler than Maggie.*

Things to NOT do while putting your shoes on:

• Put your fingers in the door frame, while the door is closing
• Go to the bathroom
• Throw up
• Touch the very bottoms. You don't know whats on there.
• Sleep, probably
• Play games
• Hold knives
• Really anything you can think of, because it all makes sense. (The only things you can do are chew gum, talk, and tie shoe laces, pretty much.)

Handsome "Inception" actors:

• Joseph Gordon-Levitt
• Leonardo DiCaprio
• Possibly Ellen Page
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Guest Star: BYU Basketball

Free Things

• America
• Feelings and/or emotions
• FroYo (if the BYU Mens Basketball team scores 80 or more points. Which they did)
• Samples at Costco
• Often a second of the "As Seen On TV" product you purchased at 2 in the morning while you were probably on some sort of cold medication
• The best things in life
• Informational DVDs

Rhymes With Christ-mas

• Blis(t)-cuss
• List-fes(t) (pronounced 'fust'. We have this daily)
• Mist-trus(t)
• Dissed-plus
• Fist-mus(t)
• Hissed-suss
• Wris(t)-us
• Kissed-rus(t)

Contains 'Pack' (Feel free to add an S at the end if you are feeling particularly spontaneous)

• Backpack
• Pack Rat
• Green Bay Packers
• Pack Animal
• Pack Mule
• Packed
• Ice Pack
• The last name Packer
• Package
• Prepackaged
• Unpack
• Fanny Pack
• The last name Pack
  

Guest Star: Ty, Suzi, Julia, and Fetus

Stupid things to do after 9:30

• take Excedrin
• homework (thank you, failing public school system)
  
• go on a jog
• make lists (guilty as charged)
• paint your nails
• put on red hooker lipstick
• clean your room
• go to bed
• go to midnight premiers
• drink alcohol
• stay awake
• eat dinner
• go sun tanning
• drinking water (?)
• get a girl pregnant
• throw up (ultimate threat)
• buy expensive things (Parker)
• keep babies awake

Funny Things You Find in the Couch Cushions

• wise man
• crumbs
• car keys
• cell phones
• glasses
• animals
• people
• wet spots
• another couch (don't even question us)
• boogers
• crayons
• tweezers
• bobby pins
• boxcars
• Legos
• Q-tips
  

Guest Star: Marketing and A Capella

Top eight (just to make you uncomfortable with the numbers) bad outfits

• The one where you wear long athletic socks, and your pants don't hang as low on your ankles as you thought they would.
  
• The one where you throw on a pair of tights, Uggs, and a tight shirt that barely covers your belly button.
• A moomoo (Shout out to Kristine Daynes) (Side note: this one is fine around the house. It only counts as bad when worn in public)
• The one where you are wearing an over-size, darkly colored flannel with black pants, and your hair is kept out of your face with a bright yellow and blue tie. And it is only 7 pm.
• Everything "What Not To Wear"
• The one where it is Thanksgiving morning and you are in bootie shorts, sweat pants, a tank top, a t-shirt, a flannel and your hair isn't done. (Obviously your hair is your outfit)
• Bjork's Swan Dress (Feel free to Google search this one)
• Ellen's Snooki's Poof costume if worn by anyone that isn't Ellen on any day that isn't Halloween

Guest Star: Westminster College

Unusual sports

• Polo (pretty much just croquet on a horse)
• One that involves invisible cars and gummy candy. And an obstacle course.
• Ninja Warrior (this is a half sport)
• The high school sport that is jumping over the desks in order to reach yours due to the large class sizes in Utah's public schools.
• The other high school sport that is trying to walk up that one staircase that everyone wants to walk up in less than 6 minutes. It is a test of endurance.
• Running with the bulls
• Running with the bowls

Fractions (from best to worst)

• 1/2 (everyone likes this one)
• 1/3
• any number/10 (easy to convert into percentages or perhaps a decimal)
• 2/3
  
• 1/4
• 3/4
• this is the point when you break it down into/5
• 5/8 (I really enjoy this one)
• 3/8
• 7/8
• 235,623/986,237,168

Phobias

• Achluophobia- Fear of darkness
• Atychiphobia- Fear of failure
• Cynophobia- Fear of dogs or rabies
• Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body
• Geniophobia- Fear of chins
• Levophobia- Fear of objects at the left side of the body
• Phagophobia- Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten
• Thaasophobia- Fear of sitting
• Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat
• Acrophobia- Fear of heights (the most common phobia. It is so common that it is regarded as spelled correctly with the Blogger spell check. The rest aren't.)
  

Guest Star: Olivia Gwace

Name Rhymes

• Joshy Jonesy
• Addison McFladdison
• Maggie Faggie
• Rachel Fachel
• Gwacy Facey
• Haley. . .Haley
• Ellen Felon Magellan
• Portia Abortionia

Top Ten Chapsticks

• Blistex Spearmint
• Natural Ice
• Burt's Bees
• EOS
• Blistex Wintergreen
• Chapstick. . . Blue?
• Chapstick. . . Green?
• Westminster
• Aquafina (yes the water bottle brand)
• Carmex

Grace's list: Symbols or Cymbals (From best to worst)

• Ampersand
• Asterisk
• Brass
• Ride
• ~ (don't know the name.)
• Interrobang (Its like a question mark and an exclamation point had a baby.)

We also just wanted to add a few notes. Today is wrestling. Soooo good. Me, Magdalen, And Haley are the ultimate wrestling fans. Also, Joshy Jonesy is really cool.

Love,

Rachel, Maggie, and the guest star Gwace.

Guest star: Addison "McFladdison" McArthur

Extracurriculars

• wrestling
• football
• basketball
• cheer
• something music
• perhaps a play
• softball and/or baseball
• a youth group (this is a phrase I hear adults say a lot, but I still don't know exactly what they are referring to)

Slang words

• guuuurl
• snap
• freak
• sketchy
• sick
• bank
• money
• boss
• beast
• dude
• bro
• swang (this only happens if you both use slang words and play jazz music)
• bling

Awkward First Dates

• anything including or requiring a swimming pool
• any date where someone is blindfolded and/or has their hands tied
• driving around with giant flashlights and then turning off the streetlights with said flashlights
• one where the people are seemingly "too in love" and just look at each other instead of saying anything
• any date with a crazy person or a diva
• ice blocking
• anything with pudding involved
• any date that is seemingly like a tip given by any student council member in an assembly
• most of them

Here we go...

People and/or things associated with high school

• cheerleaders


• football players


• druggies


• pep


• awkward crushing


• stupid teachers


• zits


• skinny jeans


• ACT


• punks


• accidental pregnancies


• the teacher every person has a crush on


• the boy every girl has a crush on


• nerd


• the girl that tries too hard


• sluffing


• packets


• attendance school


• more drugs


• the nobody


• tall socks

Terrible colors

• hay


• muave


• the color when you can't tell if it's black or blue.


• car orange


• wrestler singlet white (you can see anything and everything)

Clothes worn under other clothes

• the concept of two pants


• undershirts


• a boy's undershirt that is really just a shirt


• bra


• boxers


• sweatshirt under short sleeved shirt


• possibly pajamas


• anything under a cardigan


• nothing under a hoodie or hoodless


• a jacket and then another jacket


• socks

Hello, ladies and Gentlemen.

Hey, guys. Magdalen Daynes and Rachel Salisbury, here. We are best friends, and we are both fairly hilarious. So we started a blog. We do this thing, called lists. A Life In Lists, to be exact. You pick a topic, and write a list about it. Example:

Rhymes with Jazz

• Pizazz
• Spaz
• Has

This is what we do, everyday. So be ready ladies and gentlemen. Because we are freaking hilarious. We will do a list or two, or maybe five, every single day. And we might add some little notes here and there. So here we go, starting tomorrow.